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Another Joke Thread.

GTLive	Date: January 13, 2005 @ 7:44 PM A kindergarten student told his teacher that he found a cat, but that it was dead. "How do you know the cat was dead?", the teacher asked. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move", was the reply. "you did WHAT?!?!?", exclaimed the teacher, shocked. To which the student said,"You know, I kinda leaned over and went 'Pssssst', and he didn't move".
robbydadrummer	Date: January 13, 2005 @ 7:47 PM haven't i seen this before, Gary? another site perhaps??
P1NK	Date: January 16, 2005 @ 4:43 PM lol
DaveHall	Date: January 18, 2005 @ 11:42 AM I'm so broke I can't even pay attention...
bLINK2005uk	Date: January 21, 2005 @ 11:42 PM thats funny right there
MCCUBED	Date: January 23, 2005 @ 11:38 PM WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE DOING A HANDSTAND? A BRUNETTE.
LilVIetBalla	Date: January 29, 2005 @ 2:39 PM WWTF????? no..... not funny.
2step-4eva	Date: January 29, 2005 @ 6:40 PM three drums and a cymbal fell off a cliff... ... ... ... ba dum bum ching
Traf	Date: January 30, 2005 @ 5:17 PM Q: What's the difference between a musician and a pizza ? A: A pizza can feed a family of four..
kyodylee	Date: January 30, 2005 @ 9:20 PM Traf - That one made me giggle outloud!
JudgeMental	Date: January 31, 2005 @ 12:48 PM You're right. I'd have been better off being a pizza.
szadawn	Date: February 3, 2005 @ 11:56 PM Music helps not the toothache.
szadawn	Date: February 3, 2005 @ 11:58 PM I played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms. What a giftless bastard. Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky
MindSculpture	Date: February 16, 2005 @ 2:55 PM What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe????? .....Roberto
pog	Date: February 17, 2005 @ 1:33 AM A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?" "No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
Dexter	Date: March 10, 2005 @ 6:29 AM The I'm to reminded me of this old joke Still makes me titter. Q: How do you make a soul singer ? A: Put a in the oven and wait until it's Bill Withers TTFN.
japarti	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 8:38 PM a seargent amd his comrades are trecking through uncharted territory in the amazon when they come by a group of cannibals " bring me my red jacket the seargents shouts" the soldiers fetch him his red jacket and they defeat the small band of cannibals. the next day as they are venturing deeper into the jungle they come across an even bigger band of canibals and like before the seargent puts on his red jacket and they just defeat the savages. the next day as they are walking through the jungle one of the soldiers asks " whenever we are about to ener battle why do u always ask for your red jacket" the seargent replies so if im wounded u wont see the blood and be disheartened . the men were wuite proud of this trick. they next day they were strooling through the jungle when they came across a massive army of canniballs 500 strong the seargent looks at his fellow soldiers and screams bring me my brown trousers
japarti	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 8:38 PM a seargent amd his comrades are trecking through uncharted territory in the amazon when they come by a group of cannibals " bring me my red jacket the seargents shouts" the soldiers fetch him his red jacket and they defeat the small band of cannibals. the next day as they are venturing deeper into the jungle they come across an even bigger band of canibals and like before the seargent puts on his red jacket and they just defeat the savages. the next day as they are walking through the jungle one of the soldiers asks " whenever we are about to ener battle why do u always ask for your red jacket" the seargent replies so if im wounded u wont see the blood and be disheartened . the men were Quite proud of this trick. they next day they were strooling through the jungle when they came across a massive army of canniballs 500 strong the seargent looks at his fellow soldiers and screams bring me my brown trousers
Hatsy	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 9:01 PM How can you tell if there's a singer at the door? He can't find the right key & comes in at the wrong time He or she of course...ahem.... 'Sir I'm looking for a guest house near the beach, can you tell me where I might find one?' 'Oh certainly sir, there's one a little further up the road, in fact it's a stone's throw from the beach' 'Oh really? - And how will I know which one it is?' 'Oh that's simple, it's the one with all the smashed windows'!!!
DigWeed	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 10:04 PM LOL @ Japarti
warmguns	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 4:37 PM Two blondes are walking down the street when they see a mirror on the ground, One of them picks it up and looks at it and proclaims 'hey I found a picture of myself, the other says "dont be so stupid, let me see that" After taking the mirror she says"see dummmy, its a picture of me!"
warmguns	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 4:42 PM Why do italians hate helicopters? Cause the little blade goes "guinea","guinea","guinea" and the big blade goes "Wop","Wop","Wop" -Sorry any italian people- no offence meant

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