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Insults ... heard any good ones ...

TameasDust	Date: January 17, 2005 @ 9:29 PM heck I know this has been done before ... i know i started it ... but what the heck new people ... new pervs ... and my fav will always be ... Your Mother Wears Army Boots ... so what's yours
cosmicearthgirl	Date: January 18, 2005 @ 3:34 AM Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Monty Python
rhthesinner	Date: January 18, 2005 @ 5:07 AM "Aren't you Richard Simmonds?"
BOWILLIE	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 2:31 PM i got one..(not aimed at anyone)....you cheesy bastard....
imemine	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 3:01 PM I fart in your general direction! ---this thread is a few fries short of a happy meal!
BOWILLIE	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 3:35 PM is that your head or are you hiding behind a cock?
shadowself	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 4:09 PM You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away. You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
BOWILLIE	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 4:23 PM you are indeed the of insults!.. ..
shadowself	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 6:14 PM I can't take the credit for that - I Googled it.
BOWILLIE	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 10:10 PM sounds like the words of a collaborator....
kyodylee	Date: February 1, 2005 @ 10:39 PM 1) Your mouth is writing checks that your brain can't cash. 2) If brains was lard, you couldn't grease a pan.
pog	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 12:06 AM Go and stick your left eye in a pile of cocky shit is pretty funny (cocky = slang for cockatoo), but I'd have to say my favorite insult is by george smelavich. "When I look at you, I think of your family tree.... it's probably a cactus... full of pricks"
wet1	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 7:28 AM If you were to put your brain on the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a bee bee rolling down a 10 lane highway. His wife is so tight, she strains the dishwater to reclaim the grease. If brains were explosives, you wouldn't have enough to blow the dust out of a flea's footprint.
Svensta	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 8:32 AM It does me proud to note that 2 of the first 5 posts reference Monty Python. You know elderberries was the FIRST thing in my mind. But then, I'm a geek, and? /Complete Monty Python collection on DVD = best 199 ever spent. //spam-spam-spam-spam-spam-spam
BlackMage	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 11:41 AM Could'ya borrow your face? I forgot my ass home...
Rodrica	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 11:50 AM On the suject of talking to people you don't like... "I'd rather lick a hospital floor" or "I'd rather wrestle with an alligator in a telephone booth"
BOWILLIE	Date: February 2, 2005 @ 1:35 PM when you were born ...the doc slapped your mama...
GTLive	Date: February 3, 2005 @ 11:38 AM "I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two I'd rather clean all of the bathrooms in Grand Central Station (with my tongue) Than spend one more minute with you." -Weird Al Yankovic Song - One More Minute Album - Dare To Be Stupid " id="125961"> "I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two I'd rather clean all of the bathrooms in Grand Central Station (with my tongue) Than spend one more minute with you." -Weird Al Yankovic Song - One More Minute Album - Dare To Be Stupid
LurchTN	Date: March 2, 2005 @ 6:43 AM My first thought when I read the subject was elderberries. Darn. [Thou] leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch! You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish--O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck! Degenerate and base art thou. Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog! Shakespeare is always good for a laugh.
redrasta	Date: March 4, 2005 @ 6:49 PM 'cuntchops' is one of my faves....chops being yer face in britslang.
sTr8uPaZnSuK	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 2:03 AM Me heard CHUCKIE SUCKS!! HAHAHA good comedy.
Nutjob	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 9:31 AM i happen to have a beard and long hair, and the other day some chav knobhead said to me "at least my mum can shave". i believe this was meant as an insult but it cracked my up, bless his inbred socks.
OddOneOut	Date: March 25, 2005 @ 1:17 PM you're so stupid you fell out of a boat and couldn't find any water or you're so stupid you walked into tescos and couldnt find any food
suuta	Date: March 25, 2005 @ 3:39 PM you're so fat, you sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose...
gg2112	Date: April 12, 2005 @ 9:12 PM "Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!" I forget where I heard that, but it has been stuck in my head for quite some time...
SimonWaldram	Date: April 12, 2005 @ 9:15 PM "Anyone can have bad breath, Marge, but you could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon" - George Carlin
Hatsy	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 11:59 AM Next time you're passin' my way....keep on going!!
TameasDust	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 12:25 PM If I wanted to talk to someone intelligent I talk to myself.
TameasDust	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 12:28 PM or If I wanted intelligent conversation, I talk to myself ... people get right upset when I say that to them ... can't imagine why.
victorsskull	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 1:51 PM go fuck your self is my all time fav
furiousBall	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 1:53 PM "you spell like vic"
jordanthegreat	Date: April 15, 2005 @ 2:15 PM "you smell like vic"
Hatsy	Date: April 16, 2005 @ 9:45 AM 'You've got so many chins you need a bookmark to find your mouth'
sinai	Date: April 16, 2005 @ 11:02 AM said this one myself last night "dude, if he was blind, deaf, crippled from the neck down, and burned over 99% of his body, i'd still be pissed he wasn't dead"
Hatsy	Date: April 16, 2005 @ 11:43 AM 'Nice teeth, they remind me of a row of burnt chips'
zedsalt	Date: April 16, 2005 @ 12:12 PM My fave insult/snappy comeback comes from Victorian times, when one politician said to another, "Sir, I don't know if you shall die from the mob or the pox." To which the second replied, "That would depend upon whether I chose to embrace your politics or your mistress!" Sorry I can't recall either name or if I botched the quote.
Hatsy	Date: April 17, 2005 @ 7:16 PM
BOWILLIE	Date: April 18, 2005 @ 2:10 PM your wife is so fat... you have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot...
GTLive	Date: April 18, 2005 @ 10:16 PM "Hey, great song! GT's latest?" BadaBOOM! (anything to steer away from that last visual )
Hatsy	Date: April 19, 2005 @ 11:25 AM Stand still, I need to hit something.....
leplume	Date: April 19, 2005 @ 1:32 PM Did you mother have children that lived?
Hatsy	Date: April 19, 2005 @ 7:40 PM Could you move over a bit, your nose is obstructing my view !!
japarti	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 8:27 PM " YOUR LIKE A TURD THAT WONT FLUSH"
Hatsy	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 8:55 PM New shoes huh? Hey they're just like the ones I wore in the 80's...
DigWeed	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 10:19 PM Are u always this stupid, or are u making a special effort today?
DigWeed	Date: April 20, 2005 @ 10:19 PM Do u still like nature..despite what it did to u?
jordanthegreat	Date: April 21, 2005 @ 8:41 AM man... i'm not as stupid as you look okay
Hatsy	Date: April 21, 2005 @ 8:47 AM You remind me of my uncle, gee he's ugly!!
zedsalt	Date: April 21, 2005 @ 12:43 PM "Yo' mama's armpits is so hairy, she look like she givin' the headlock to twin Buckwheats!" My favorite burn I'VE been hit with was unintentional. A little gal working the McDonald's drive-through recognized me from a show/shows I'd done years earlier. Without a hint of bad intent in her voice, she asked me, "Didn't you used to be somebody?"
Hatsy	Date: April 21, 2005 @ 5:26 PM You should have come back with 'And what charm school did you just get kicked out of sweet cakes?!'
zedsalt	Date: April 22, 2005 @ 11:57 AM I figured a comeback wasn't really necessary. She was falling all over herself to apologize as soon as she said it; I could probably do the solo gig thing a couple times a week, if I really wanted to, and whatever education she'd attained, she was stuck in a McDonald's drive-through window at the time. Truth is, her lack of grace was kind of charming, but she hardly seemed old enough to have attended the gigs she mentioned. Maybe she used a fake ID; they were much more relaxed about that back then.
leplume	Date: April 22, 2005 @ 12:01 PM Yes, but did you get fried with that?
leplume	Date: April 22, 2005 @ 12:01 PM Fries...not fried!
BOWILLIE	Date: April 22, 2005 @ 5:44 PM alot of grease a micky ds..i could see it happening!
jordanthegreat	Date: April 22, 2005 @ 7:46 PM well as some sort of defense, one time at mcdicks they forgot to give me my fries but i didn't tell them and i've held a grudge ever since.
Hatsy	Date: April 23, 2005 @ 8:02 AM Jordanthegreat!! Paul here - half a Treebone, here's a few from London's inner city.... Is that your face or did you block a kick You're so fat your scared of your own shadow, it's beginning to look like a crowd You've got so many wrinkles on your head you have to screw your hat on If you had any more brains you'd be an idiot If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off You're so lazy your idea of roughing it is to turn your electric blanket up to medium The only thing you grow in your garden is tired The only exercise you get is to watch a horror movie and let your flesh creep Your mouth's so big you could eat a banana sideways You looked up your family tree & found you were a sap One thing that makes you look good is distance !! You look a million dollars - all green & wrinkles You can't sing, your voice sounds like a goose fart in the fog You're about as welcome here as a fart in a spacesuit Are you always this happy or only at funerals :headstone: You've got a face like a bag of spanners panner: If I wanted your opinion I'd have asked someone else I can't understand you - every time you open your mouth some idiot speaks I see you get your brains from your father's side, only he wasn't on that side at the time I'll never get over you, so you'll have to get up & make the coffee yourself Hard work never killed anybody but I'm not taking any chances on being the first victim, besides I'm superstitious and I refuse to work on any day that's got a Y in it You have good taste in clothes but it seems you can't afford them They told me you were a drunk but I'm getting sick of stepping over you Are you accustomed to public speaking or is it a drive by shouty Help the environment - don't leave the house I've got a soft spot for you - a swamp
leplume	Date: April 23, 2005 @ 10:16 AM
BOWILLIE	Date: April 23, 2005 @ 5:39 PM goose fart in the fog! thats the title of my new album!
warmguns	Date: April 23, 2005 @ 8:49 PM you're so fat your drivers licence picture was taken from a helicopter.
warmguns	Date: April 23, 2005 @ 8:51 PM your mother is so fat that when she stands up she eclipses the sun
gomezisastud07	Date: April 24, 2005 @ 12:19 AM "if u eat like a n006 ull get pwn3d lik3 a n006" "ur face"
TameasDust	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 1:56 AM I don't remember dancing with you, I musta been awful drunk ..
victorsskull	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 10:42 AM suck my big hairy balls
PoizonMyst	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 10:55 AM I could kick ur arse ...... but I'm too scared I mite get cum on my boot.
Intergalacti...	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 1:46 PM (Toward someone with big ears) you look like an car coming down the road with both doors open yo mommas old, but i wont talk about yo momma ill talk about yo dad instead, when your dad was in school, in class he was so fat he sat next to everybody. but still he was not as fat as your fat momma. Sounds better on the fresh prince.
Intergalacti...	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 1:47 PM On the suject of talking to people you don't like... "I'd rather lick a hospital floor" or "I'd rather wrestle with an alligator in a telephone booth" Another one like these^ I'd rather lick the cats butt
leplume	Date: April 25, 2005 @ 6:35 PM Yes, but the cat never seems too happy with that!
Intergalacti...	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 10:47 AM He's never complained everytime you've done it Lol this is just gonna turn into people insulting eachother
TameasDust	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 12:40 PM nah we're all too intelligent for that ... right? you can only be insulted if yah wanna be anywho ... Your mother wears army boots!!! and that is all I have to say on the matter
leplume	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 1:18 PM I am insulted!!! My intelligence is insulted!!! My mother and her boots are insulted!!! And now I have this damn hairball....
BOWILLIE	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 2:14 PM a cat butt lolipop.. calico flavor!
invocati	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 4:25 PM Your mama is like a door knob everybody gets a turn
invocati	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 4:26 PM Your mama is like RC cola the crowd pleaser. Your mama is like a hardware store everybody gets a screw
warmguns	Date: April 26, 2005 @ 10:07 PM well, you were pretty last night..
TameasDust	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 12:59 PM @ warmguns
leflaw	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 10:19 PM you sing like vic
victorsskull	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 10:58 PM oh now you got me pissed all mighty leader the king must die
warmguns	Date: April 27, 2005 @ 10:59 PM You're about as much use as boobs on a nun.
TheDelinquent	Date: April 30, 2005 @ 6:26 AM If Your Brains were gasoline,you wouldn't have enough to fuel a piss ants Go-Cart race,around the inside of a doughnut.
undefined22	Date: May 19, 2005 @ 10:34 AM Did your mother shit you out? How many of your customers have died? What did your last slave die of? Your face blows off manhole covers. You should sue your tailor. Reality and you don't get on, do they? The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead. I would've been your father but the guy in front of me had exact change. I piss in zigzags on your asscrack!
Hatsy	Date: May 19, 2005 @ 8:16 PM Did you get the license plate number? Of what? The truck that ran over your face!!!
Intergalacti...	Date: May 20, 2005 @ 5:28 AM leflaw and warmguns legendary insults haha
Cryxan	Date: May 20, 2005 @ 4:31 PM Something I'd love to be able to tell a guy at work (and one day I will, too): "Your mere existence is an insult to the very concept of teamwork."
Majyk	Date: May 23, 2005 @ 9:34 PM eat shit and live! your so fat , you have more chins than a chinese phone book if some one says this suck...say "not as much as your mother blows" your moms like a vaccum cleaner.. she sucks, she blows and gets laid in the closet... this isnt really an insult, but its funny..."a man is a king... a king is a ruler... a ruler is 12 inches... now can you say that your a man?"
The-Pho-King	Date: May 26, 2005 @ 9:06 AM your momma is so fat that when she jump for joy, she got stuck!
Intergalacti...	Date: May 26, 2005 @ 5:00 PM Watching you play that guitar is about as much fun as watchin a gorilla pick his own fleas
BOWILLIE	Date: May 26, 2005 @ 6:58 PM you are as useless as a one legged man in a ass kicking contest...
sinai	Date: May 26, 2005 @ 7:00 PM actually, a one legged man has an advantage in an ass kicking contest...he's the only one sitting down! now, cry me a river pal, with the right bait, i might fish some give a shit out of it!
BOWILLIE	Date: May 26, 2005 @ 7:53 PM your about as useless as tits on a frog..
redrasta	Date: June 7, 2005 @ 12:31 PM tits onna frawg!! I get told off for saying this a LOT.... "Talk faster, I'm beginning to lose interest..."
Pinion	Date: June 10, 2005 @ 2:16 PM You're so stupid, you fell out of a tree raking the leaves.
SpicoliInc	Date: June 11, 2005 @ 6:26 PM I wouldn't piss on his head if his hair was one fire...
Intergalacti...	Date: June 11, 2005 @ 9:02 PM I wouldn't even give a shit if it came nicely gift wrapped with a bow on top
gomezisastud07	Date: June 11, 2005 @ 11:52 PM ur mom
RobertMcDade	Date: June 12, 2005 @ 5:30 AM I heard in a diss rap once "You make about as much sense as an optomistic gothic kid"
TameasDust	Date: June 13, 2005 @ 1:03 AM
KurtCobainJr	Date: June 13, 2005 @ 4:58 AM lmao you lot are so allmost fuuny
The-Pho-King	Date: June 14, 2005 @ 9:42 AM You are so ugly that even Michael Jackson will cry in terror after looking at you.
TheOwl	Date: June 14, 2005 @ 10:41 AM Some of my favorites were from the old "Lost In Space TV series, specifically Dr. Smith's insults directed at the Robot: Animated Hunk of Machinery Animated Weather Station Arrogant Automation As Protective as a Leaky Umbrella Astigmatic Automaton Automated Oaf Babbling Birdbrain Babbling Bumpkin Bellicose Bumpkin Benedict Arnold Blithering Blatherskite Blithering Booby Blithering Bumpkin Blundering Bag of Bolts Book Making Booby Broken down Has Been Brutish Product of the Mineral World Bubble Headed Booby Bulbous Bumpkin Bumbling Bag of Bolts Bumbling Birdbrain Bumbling Booby Bumbling Bucket of Bolts Bumbling Cracker Barrel Bumptious Booby Bumptious Braggart Bungling Incompetent Cackling Cacophony Cackling Canister Cackling Clod Cackling Cuckoo Cackling Coward Cantankerous Clod Cantankerous Cold Hearted Clod Caterwauling Clod Cautious Clump Chattering Magpie Clanking Clod Clod Like Collection of Condensers Clumsy Clod Clumsy Clump Clumsy Clout Complete Moron Computerized Clod Computerized Clump Confused Compass Cowardly Clump Cumbersome Clump Cybernetic Simpleton Cybernetic Skeptic Defective Detective Dehumanized Lie Dispenser Demented Diode Deplorable Dummy Deplorable Dunderhead Despoty Dunce Digitized Dunce Dippity Dunce Disreputable Dunce Disreputable Dunderhead Doddering Dunderhead Doctor Dunderhead Dunce Dunderhead Dundering Dolt Elephantine Adam Evasive Coward Ferrous Frankenstein Fiend in Tin clothing Floundering Flunky Frightful Fractious Frump Fugitive from a Junk Heap Fugitive from a Scrap Metal Yard Fugitive from a Scrap Heap Galumphing Gargoyle Gargantuan Goose Garrulous Gargoyle Gigantic Gargoyle Gregarious Gremlin Hard Headed Harbinger of Death Hard Headed Harbinger of Evil Hardware Hyena Hopeless Heap of Tainted Tin Hulking Mass of Mechanical Ignorance Hypertensive Hypochondriac Ignominious Ignoramus Ill Informed Ignoramus Impersonal Collection of Inanimate Incompetent Idiot Incompetent Walking Ingrate Ineffective Ineptitude Inept Goldbricker Infamous Informer Inguitive Ingratitude Insensitive Brute Insensitive Clump Insensitive Idiot Insensitive Machine Insipient Aptitude Iron Born Ingrate Irresponsible Wine Bevier Jabbering Jackanapes Jabbering Jeremiah Jabbering Judas Juvenile Junk Pile Know Nothing Numbskull Lead Lined Lump Lead Lined Lothario Lily Livered Lump