DMusic.com | for indie musicians and fans | Free MP3 music downloads

Forums > The General Forum: Comedy

My Ass Hurts

YaBoyDrew	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 10:29 AM u eva have 1 of those days?
imemine	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 10:36 AM
BlackMage	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 10:43 AM I don't swing that way.
moam	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 11:23 AM Yeah, like the other day at my Psychology class The chairs at my community college can be painful when you have to sit there for 3 hours So yes, I have had days where my ass hurts
imemine	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 11:53 AM moam---you sure that's what caused it?
moam	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 11:56 AM Well, there was this time right before hand where...er Nevermind!
BOWILLIE	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 12:08 PM its time to buy a can of ass guard...
leplume	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 12:43 PM two word...rubber donut!
BlackMage	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 2:20 PM It's not like I literally wake up in the morning and think "Man, my ass hurts. What's up with that?"
BOWILLIE	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 2:25 PM the things people shit...ermm..shout about..
GreatGooglyM...	Date: March 11, 2005 @ 2:46 PM Ever heard of vaseline?
YaBoyDrew	Date: March 13, 2005 @ 11:18 AM lol
Intergalacti...	Date: March 13, 2005 @ 3:43 PM I know what its like man I had one like three days ago. No one knows why this shit happens it just hurts fort a day then goes away. I'm a poet and I know it.
kyodylee	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 1:17 AM There I was... A beautiful sunny day. White crisp silky soft snow glistening all around me. My skis working perfectly, gliding effortlessly in the fresh powder. I stop at the top of hill, just long enough to survey my path of descent. I'm oblivious to what is encroaching upon me from behind. All of a sudden, from nowhere, that all too familiar sound of a boarder riding his wave too close ... ... and bam pow splat ... He clips me from behind, knocking me down ... then the edge of his board takes a nice long ride across my backside left cheek. @!$&*@ mutha effing son ... pain! He barely even stopped for a quick 'sorry dude' and he was gone ... enjoying the descent that I was anticipating. So there I was ... five inches of road rash, scraped, bruised and bleeding. So I swallowed a (always keep 'em handy on the slopes, ... just in case!) and kept on skiing. It wasn't too bad after that ... but damn, I really didn't enjoy riding those chair lifts anymore that day! A jacuzzi, sitz bath, extra strength neosporin plus pain relief, and another later and I still woke up the next morning crying ... Jeez, my ass hurts! ... so yes, Drew, I've had one of those days too.
sinai	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 10:23 AM yeah, i did, after a particulalrly hardcore night of anal.
BOWILLIE	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 8:19 PM gross dude..... uh...straight and to the point though...(no pun intended)
simulacrat	Date: March 14, 2005 @ 10:11 PM dark purple bruising around my tailbone for two months stemming from an aextremely hard sk8 bail then reoccurred for the next few weeks. i'm pretty hetero, but after the examination to determine if i had cracked my tailbone... 'm not so sure
imemine	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 1:00 AM "pretty hetero" :lamo: Is there a grey area?
imemine	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 1:01 AM ----That's--------and not :lamo:
simulacrat	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 9:22 AM i am married, but i did the gay test. According to them: 44% gay. cetainly practicing hetero you should have heard my squeal. (there's no emoticon for :mentallyscarred, but i must have looked like this
imemine	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 9:27 AM Perhaps you are just Metrosexual?
sinai	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 10:15 AM i knew you were setting him up for a promo you whore!
sinai	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 10:19 AM and i took that same test simulacrat... 100% homo which is slightly inaccurate, i think the test is rigged. despite any other answers i had, i believe i was doomed after "have you ever had a dick in your ass?"
imemine	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 10:40 AM ---The truth hurts!!!!....and I can only imagine that does too!
Intergalacti...	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 10:59 AM What test is that chuck me the link...
imemine	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 11:37 AM Now do you really need to take a test?
simulacrat	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 3:44 PM don't remember the link, but this one seems pretty legit. http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/gaytest.html
simulacrat	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 3:45 PM yeah imemine, i certainly agree... my definition, (that being i don't have sex with men) i would have to be metrosexual, but it just doesn't have the same ring as 44% gay.
moam	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 6:57 PM That link is absolutely hilarious
Cowboy666	Date: March 15, 2005 @ 11:41 PM Just a question here, does anyone know what a “metrosexual” person is? I think it’s a funny notion my self after reading this. Metrosexual: “A straight man that might be perceived as a gay man because of his feministic behaviors.” I have friends like this! Hell, I might even be slightly Metrosexual myself! Lol.
MindSculpture	Date: March 16, 2005 @ 8:42 AM There's nothing worse than a stingy ring ...ah, that's better.
The-Pho-King	Date: May 27, 2005 @ 8:52 AM
leflaw	Date: May 27, 2005 @ 10:12 PM I am a suburbsexual
TameasDust	Date: May 27, 2005 @ 10:50 PM so you like squirrels
swoppy	Date: May 28, 2005 @ 8:47 AM I am dutch, here we are ant-fuckers
sinai	Date: May 28, 2005 @ 9:53 AM no love for the termites?
Intergalacti...	Date: May 28, 2005 @ 8:32 PM I'm welsh we prefer the sheep, according to popular belief.
redrasta	Date: June 10, 2005 @ 1:41 AM I split my coccix (thats tailbone for you who thought my cat just stood on the keyboard) a few years ago by having sex in the shower and slipping, landing on my ass on the edge of the bathtub rather heavily. I hadda go to the doc, it was so bad. She asked if I'd heard any cracking noises when it happened, and I had to explain that I wasnt really concentrating at the time...whic led her to ask HOW I'd done it. After she stopped laughing, I was given a prescription for super bastard painkillers that I hadda take three times a day for 2 weeks, and then if THEY didnt work, I'd have had to goten a shot of some kinda steriods right in to the space by the tailbone!! All I can say is, it hurt like a mofo.
KurtCobainJr	Date: June 28, 2005 @ 4:47 AM so hilarios taht link is gay...
bender	Date: July 8, 2005 @ 12:43 AM ohhkaaaayy im sorry for all you that have had those days i personally havent
moam	Date: July 30, 2005 @ 12:21 AM This topic will never die!! This will go in the "Best Topic Hall of Fame!" My ass hurts
ChillinBuzz	Date: July 30, 2005 @ 12:37 AM i got colon and bowel inflammation and bleeding. hurts? so glad im NOT gay id be fucked...
DeadraveN	Date: July 30, 2005 @ 12:38 AM Jesus Henry Christ this thread is funny...
Apertome	Date: July 30, 2005 @ 12:49 AM ChillinBuzz ... or not fucked, as the case may be
victorsskull	Date: July 30, 2005 @ 1:22 AM did some one bend over and let rover take over
KurtCobainJr	Date: August 1, 2005 @ 5:07 AM huh
MindSculpture	Date: August 1, 2005 @ 5:55 AM My ass hurts bigstyle. I haven't cycled in years and took a mad notion to get out the house and go. Ended up Cycling about 20 miles yesterday! Still feels like I got a saddle between my legs. yesterday = today =
moam	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:13 AM
ChillinBuzz	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:21 AM Still thinking about that saddle, Moam?
Opossum	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:38 AM On 11th Mar 2009, YaBoyDrew said: u eva have 1 of those days? I've had 1 of those lives.
ChillinBuzz	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:41 AM On 15th Dec 2009, Opossum said: I've had 1 of those lives. ok, the potential reasons for that are kind of worrying...
Opossum	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:48 AM Nah, I blame the chair manufacturers... They tend to fall apart underneath me (I'm NOT that heavy) and I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
ChillinBuzz	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 1:57 AM What you're saying is that when nature calls, you pass a submarine?
Opossum	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 2:06 AM Hey, it's not my fault if they don't know how to make stronger porcelain.
Mojosnake	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 9:50 AM so i wake up this morning, my ass hurts and my back is sticky and theres 10 british pounds on the nightstand...... ummmmmm
baiko	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 9:53 AM you cheap bastard!
Mojosnake	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 9:55 AM
ray104	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 9:24 PM Your ass hurts? I cannot help you in that department, the only ass I try to chase is female. or at least I hope they are..
Mojosnake	Date: December 15, 2007 @ 10:54 PM always... ALWAYS!!!! look for an adams apple dude...
ChillinBuzz	Date: December 18, 2007 @ 4:26 PM On 15th Dec 2009, ray104 said: Your ass hurts? I cannot help you in that department, the only ass I try to chase is female. or at least I hope they are.. that's what you tell us, we all know you love Moam's ass.
moam	Date: December 18, 2007 @ 8:24 PM who doesn't
TameasDust	Date: December 19, 2007 @ 6:06 PM we are all fucked
rockgoth619	Date: January 5, 2008 @ 5:43 PM On 30th Jul 2009, moam said: This topic will never die!! This will go in the "Best Topic Hall of Fame!" My ass hurts obviously someone was wrong... until now!!
Tattoomom	Date: January 5, 2008 @ 11:07 PM Too much Mexican food?
ChillinBuzz	Date: January 6, 2008 @ 7:58 AM 30th July 2008??? You mean his ass hasn't hurt yet? Saint, you ain't done your job properly
ray104	Date: January 6, 2008 @ 5:51 PM On 15th Dec 2009, ChillinBuzz said: Still thinking about that saddle, Moam? No He's not. I'd rather think of Ashley Tisdale!
rockgoth619	Date: February 8, 2008 @ 5:14 PM wth is up with all the dates?? i think our asses are messin' with us!
Wildy1	Date: February 11, 2008 @ 7:21 PM What is this??? Back to the Future??
Opossum	Date: February 12, 2008 @ 8:39 AM It hurts because I've been sitting at the Church of Scientology all day getting my engrams cleansed.
Fraser	Date: February 26, 2008 @ 1:34 PM Think your ass hurts now? Learn to snowboard. Ouch.
ChillinBuzz	Date: February 27, 2008 @ 12:05 PM On 15th Mar 2009, sinai said: and i took that same test simulacrat... 100% homo which is slightly inaccurate, i think the test is rigged. despite any other answers i had, i believe i was doomed after "have you ever had a dick in your ass?" i'd just settle for a bush in your face... and possibly a nose-peg.

Post A Reply
From:	guest	(Icons - Linking)
Post: