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Forums > The General Forum: Comedy

Beer vs. Vagina

desiderata	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 1:35 PM Beer vs. Vagina 1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER 2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA 3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER 4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA 5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being. 6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA 7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA 8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA 9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER 10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA 11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA 12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA 13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER 14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER 15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER 16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER 17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER 18. Beer doesn't have a mother One point to BEER 19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it One point to BEER FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8 That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
imemine	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 1:51 PM I’m still going with the vagina! One question though, can’t they share? Beer in moderation in combination with the right vagina I find to be quite satisfying. To point number 1) ---I don’t mind! In fact, I like the “work”. To point number 4) --- Nothing a razor can’t fix! To point number 6) --- Ooooo baby! To point number 7) --- I must be a legend. To point number 10 ) --I know god personally. To point number 14 ) - - I don’t care. To point number 18 ) – I like yummy mummys! Ever heard the acronym MILF? To point number 19 ) – I like that part too!
desiderata	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 1:57 PM beer
BOWILLIE	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 1:58 PM ..decisions decisions..
evansorchid	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 2:09 PM This was rigged!!!
Israfel	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 2:11 PM yeah but ask any man...would he rather go a week without beer or the "girly bits"??
BOWILLIE	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 2:51 PM ..beer...twat.. twat beer.....no i cant decide...
K3VIN	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 3:13 PM beer costs less money in the long run, unless the vagina works.
sinai	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 3:14 PM get married, and the decision becomes easier
GeneHilbert	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 3:17 PM yeah you get neither........
BOWILLIE	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 3:30 PM ..HAR!..nice one gene
BIR	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 5:24 PM ^add to gene's post ......but you still have to pay for both!
billrhynes	Date: April 20, 2006 @ 6:16 PM fuck beer
bender	Date: April 22, 2006 @ 2:28 AM beer or girly bits ... fuck beer... i prefer the girly bits
HenriRoger	Date: April 22, 2006 @ 6:15 AM I guess for women, beer and penis are equal on one point , both can make them look fatter ...
vzeye	Date: May 1, 2006 @ 1:39 PM I wrote a song about Beer & Girl. It's called "Parking Meter Blues." It's on my page: http://rta.dmusic.com/ In my song, the beer won!
Saint	Date: May 1, 2006 @ 11:26 PM why is everyone saying fuck beer? kinky bastards...id rather fuck girl
billrhynes	Date: May 2, 2006 @ 1:16 AM guiet! I hear a song forming... "there I was...puttin it in her can..." hmmmm...lemme work on it some more
billrhynes	Date: May 10, 2006 @ 9:48 AM then again, this could scare u off vagina for life... http://web.kyoto-inet.or.jp/people/tiakio/antiGM/vagina.jpg
jess1561	Date: May 10, 2006 @ 10:10 AM
ChillinBuzz	Date: May 10, 2006 @ 12:32 PM i'm greedy, i'll take both
bluecoffee	Date: May 11, 2006 @ 8:03 AM 7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. Lovin' that line.. People who get offended over this stuff are just irritating. That's why I'm a girl who likes guys. Guys just don't care!
TameasDust	Date: May 11, 2006 @ 12:27 PM Beer doesnt mind when you fart ... point beer
bluecoffee	Date: May 11, 2006 @ 1:31 PM Hey! I don't mind if a guy farts. Home brew's the best brew eh?
Veracohr	Date: May 11, 2006 @ 6:04 PM Beer is always available. 2 points for beer.
happyhappyhappy	Date: May 30, 2006 @ 2:25 AM Veracohr, not if you're unemployed. Of course, the point still goes to beer because chances are, if you have no money, a vagina won't come your way. If you ARE employed, you can buy a good beer a lot more easily and more directly than a good vagina.
Firefly	Date: May 30, 2006 @ 12:27 PM is ill? i can't believe there's a thread mentioning "girly bits" and he hasn't been here... Beer never complains that you're drinking it too fast, too slow, too hard or too soft either for that matter. But.. once you've drunk beer its gone, whereas a vagina will still be there. Everyone loves a free refill. Damn.. but you can't beat a cold, wet [ ] on a sunny afternoon...
GeneHilbert	Date: May 30, 2006 @ 12:38 PM oh......... lil Billy's got a snapper.....