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Forums > The General Forum: Comedy

Dog Food

GeneHilbert	Date: July 27, 2006 @ 12:14 PM I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So, I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.
AdNauseam	Date: July 27, 2006 @ 5:20 PM
Fraser	Date: July 27, 2006 @ 6:08 PM Lmao.... Thats awesome...
rockgoth619	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 12:59 PM omg! thats great!
HenriRoger	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 1:30 PM lol
TruonGLe	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 7:59 PM LMFAO!!!!
WildasRapids	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 11:12 PM Only You Gene ....Only You
imemine	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 11:23 PM Damn man---how do you lick your own balls? I'd get hit by a car for THAT!
victorsskull	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 11:25 PM
TameasDust	Date: August 11, 2006 @ 11:34 PM
TameasDust	Date: August 14, 2006 @ 10:07 PM
Etheracide	Date: August 15, 2006 @ 6:27 AM That is precisely the kind of thing I want to read before I have to go to work haha Started the day the right way! Thanks!
vamallela	Date: August 15, 2006 @ 10:50 PM so gross yet so noble!....like ime says..id get hit by a train for THAT
hollyoake	Date: September 13, 2006 @ 10:47 AM I like that one!