DMusic.com | for indie musicians and fans | Free MP3 music downloads

Forums > The General Forum

Chuck Norris

moam	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 3:04 PM http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck List your favorite ones
moam	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 3:06 PM Some of my favorites ==================== Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can speak braille. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies". The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
moam	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 3:08 PM
GeneHilbert	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 3:09 PM If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.......... LOL
moam	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 3:11 PM That's awesome Chuck Norris is harmful to radiation.
GTOriginal	Date: March 19, 2007 @ 5:45 PM Chuck Norris once blew his nose, and his nose paid him five bucks... He then decided to bang my skanky ass sister, shriveled up like a raisin, and died.
BlackMage	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 8:17 AM Chuck Norris doesn't die. Death goes Chuck Norris.
shadowself	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 2:01 PM My favourite will always be "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." And one that I made up: Chuck Norris built the house in which he was born.
imemine	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:02 PM Chuck Norris legally changed his middle name to “Fucking.” Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s father. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful that it can be seen from outer space with the naked eye. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
GreatGooglyM...	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:04 PM Uh... Chuck Norris... That's like so 2006.
imemine	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:14 PM roundhouse kicks GreatGooglyMoogly
K3VIN	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:23 PM Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
shadowself	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:27 PM Chuck Norris facts are still funny, until Chuck Norris gets his hands on them - then he turns them around to make them about Jesus. I am serious. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever." There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood. Now doesn't that just suck the funny out of everything and even make you slightly uncomfortable? Way to go, Chuck.
shadowself	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:28 PM source: http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567
imemine	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 3:31 PM No---not really! roundhouse kicks shadowself
celtaidd	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 8:20 PM Or just "Chuck" Norris away and get The Terminator
imemine	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 8:58 PM roundhouse kicks celtaidd The Governator can't whoop Chuck "funkin" Norris! There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
celtaidd	Date: March 20, 2007 @ 9:18 PM Forgive Me, for I have sinned; I doubted the one true God (apart from Mongo obviously) Roundhouse kick, may my head leave my body
sinai	Date: March 21, 2007 @ 5:31 PM first anne rice, now chuck norris... damn you jesus, damn you to hell!
ndstgmoe	Date: March 21, 2007 @ 5:59 PM I need to get me some Jesus tears. I don't have cancer, but maybe that'll get rid of my gout.
imemine	Date: March 21, 2007 @ 10:31 PM
DeadraveN	Date: March 21, 2007 @ 10:38 PM "The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the end of all things."
EvalLin	Date: March 27, 2007 @ 12:52 PM Chuck Norris was bored one day so he created reality.
stat30fbliss	Date: March 29, 2007 @ 10:57 PM Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, and now their just "The Islands".
moam	Date: March 30, 2007 @ 10:25 PM Just came up with one today For everyone else its "Mission Impossible". For Chuck Norris it's "Mission Guaranteed".
AdNauseam	Date: June 13, 2007 @ 8:25 PM Jihadists can no longer hope for 72 virgins when they get to heaven... Chuck got to them first.

Post A Reply
From:	Guest	(Icons - Linking)
Post: