DMusic.com | for indie musicians and fans | Free MP3 music downloads - Forums: The General Forum: How do you unstick the pages of your bible after you've masturbated on it?

Forums > The General Forum

How do you unstick the pages of your bible after you've masturbated on it?

kingo	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 1:30 PM I've tried ketchup (catsup) (Cat's Soup) (assjuice) but it doesn't do anything right. Suggestions?
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 1:47 PM Well if you have it in the shower, the hot water peels the mess right off
kingo	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 1:55 PM How do you get it in the shower?
GeneHilbert	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 2:06 PM Do you really feel this is necessary? How much more of this gutter tripe must be posted here? My thought is this - if you don't have a topic or something worthy of posting - don't bother with this discussing bullshit....
kingo	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 2:18 PM Q: "Do you really feel this is necessary?" A: Ah... it's good to be back.
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 2:47 PM Just put on your You aren't really forced to read these disturbing topics
Orion	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 2:48 PM
PrincessTast...	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 3:08 PM You have sick minds you three...
PrincessTast...	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 3:08 PM But then... I guess we wouldn't have it any other way...
GTOriginal	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 3:31 PM It's medication time.
shadowself	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 4:47 PM It was only a matter of time for this one, wasn't it? Dammit, now all I can picture is Kingo saying "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"
shadowself	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 4:49 PM And about the "tripe" - if it offends you, don't read it. Seems to be just the religious ones that are attacked, though... all the other "tripe" threads are left alone.
shadowself	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 4:51 PM ...actually, they are participated in.
shadowself	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 4:57 PM But... yeah. I find it amusing that THOU SHALT NOT SWEAR and THOU SHALT NOT POST IN CAPS in the thread topics, but masturbating on the bible is just peachy. Strange priorities. Just like movies on U.S. television... "kiss my ass" is overdubbed as "kiss my hand" - just before someone gets their brains blown out in graphic detail.
Woof	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 5:25 PM Ya know what's ridiculous? Ten or fifteen similarly titled threads have come and gone in the last couple of months here... ...and it's only NOW that people complain? I mean, they're all still there, and could be bumped up at any time... nobody seemed to mind the first 350 responses...
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 5:54 PM I find it more hilarious than ridiculous I mean, what other site do you go to where their forum is poisoned with threads about masturbation Quality shit if you ask me
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 5:59 PM Or just showers Haha The way I see it, don't post or read the topics that you find "disgusting" or "horrible" I don't complain when I see retarded, meaningless threads...I simply don't post in them And obviously I have made many pointless threads, but ah...I think many of us are guilty of the same shit... My point is if you don't like the topic, you aren't required to post or read.
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 6:01 PM On 9th Apr 2012, kingo said: How do you get it in the shower? 1) Turn on shower 2) Pick up bible 3) Place the bible on the floor of the shower, so that the water soaks into the sticky pages
shadowself	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 6:34 PM On 9th Apr 2012, Woof said: ...and it's only NOW that people complain? The only reason for the complaining is the mention of the bible. But yeah - if you don't like it, don't read it. Just like the bible.
GTOriginal	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 7:32 PM Unlike the Bible, Hustler Magazine has glossy, waterproof pages. Where was the Morality Brigade ten or fifteen similarly titled threads ago? You guys are late and now I'm corrupted. Thanks a lot.
K3VIN	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 8:08 PM On 9th Apr 2012, moam said: I find it more hilarious than ridiculous I mean, what other site do you go to where their forum is poisoned with threads about masturbation Quality shit if you ask me lots of sites hombre btw i dont own a bible... so i cant help you kingo
NickSawyer	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 9:14 PM I think it's time you people die and Fuck you guys, for real. And DO NOT take that the way you would if I told you not to
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 9:29 PM On 9th Apr 2012, NickSawyer said: I think it's time you people die and Fuck you guys, for real. And DO NOT take that the way you would if I told you not to I'd tap it
sinai	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 10:18 PM with all the begatting going on in the bible, it's practically pornography anyway...
evansorchid	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 10:38 PM Linseed oil.... ...hey, at least I answered the question.
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:05 PM You know guys, I love a good joke and all but this one is stretching things a bit y'know !! I definately am with Gene on this one. I work in the Catholic School Board system, and they already blocked out Dmusic with because of earlier masturbation threads. It's one thing joking about masturbating in the shower, it's another to post stuff about masturbating on the Bible, especially at this time of the year ! A little respect and decorum would be appreciated. Really. And I am pretty liberal and relaxed in my Christian views. Yes, I know I can just ignore these threads (which I will do in future) but there are some people who can be offended by this material.
imemine	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:07 PM Reduced to a level I never saw cumming!
sinai	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:09 PM a line so childish, even i laughed.
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:09 PM
Mojosnake	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:11 PM
moam	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:32 PM On 9th Apr 2012, imemine said: Reduced to a level I never saw cumming! On 9th Apr 2012, leedsquietman said: You know guys, I love a good joke and all but this one is stretching things a bit y'know !! I definately am with Gene on this one. I work in the Catholic School Board system, and they already blocked out Dmusic with because of earlier masturbation threads. It's one thing joking about masturbating in the shower, it's another to post stuff about masturbating on the Bible, especially at this time of the year ! A little respect and decorum would be appreciated. Really. And I am pretty liberal and relaxed in my Christian views. Yes, I know I can just ignore these threads (which I will do in future) but there are some people who can be offended by this material. sorry I made this site unreachable for your church, but last I checked, this wasn't a christian website... Again, in a nutshell, if you're offended by a topic, just post somewhere else
sinai	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:34 PM does this mean i am allowed to get mad if i ever see a forum on 700 club's website talking about praying all over music sheet music?
imemine	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:35 PM On 9th Apr 2012, sinai said: a line so childish, even i laughed. My specialty! Never guess I was 77 years old huh? Cat soup is good!
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 9, 2007 @ 11:52 PM Moam, you know that I like a good joke and have posted replies to previous threads to do with mastrubation/urination or whatever else, I am not an uptight a$$hole by nature, and I agree that this isn't a religious site. I am not some zealot but am a Christian and there are others out there who feel the same, so just to inform you of our presence I posted. I know that no-one forced a gun to my head to make me read it, and I won't waste my time in future reading or replying to these threads. What I am saying though is that Dmusic should primarily be a MUSIC site and I liked looking over the site during my planning time or lunch break etc but now I can't do it because the school board banned this site and blocked it for being obscene, which is a pity. I don't always have time at home to keep up. I tried to fight it with the administrator saying that 99% of the threads are not offensive but he refused to undo the block because he did not want to risk students accessing the site during school hours when it had this type of content on it
tsand20175	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 3:53 AM ..a thread about jerking off on a bible.......yeah, DM is much better than Myspace........
HenriRoger	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:04 AM Dmusic forum rules : We also shall not allow spamming the boards, profanity in subject lines... ?
Dexter	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:13 AM While the subject matter is questionable, the subject line is not actually profane
HenriRoger	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:20 AM Is it a dmusic management answer ? Or your personal answer ?
Dexter	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:32 AM Both I guess When I made that statement I was only thinking along the lines of profanity as in swear / cuss words. But just so that I could answer your question fully, I checked the actual definition of profanity. It goes a bit further than that: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Profanity The forum rules aren't expanded elsewhere for us to use as a guideline All we have to go on is at the head of the main forum / thread page. If this does come under the definition of profanity would have to be discussed
HenriRoger	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:44 AM Thank you . In French the word profanity is used when offending a religion not for swear/cuss words . That's why I asked
shutyatrap	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 7:53 AM Well how off the topic has this become..... Getting back to the question at hand... Could you not wear a condom?.. oh hang on the Catholic church doesn't believe in those so that leaves a large majority out eh!!? I guess we could always just hide in the drawer and pray for a way out of the sticky situation... But then again what I the fuck would I know I am just a mere man. Steve
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:06 AM On 10th Apr 2012, shutyatrap said: Well how off the topic has this become..... Getting back to the question at hand... Could you not wear a condom?.. oh hang on the Catholic church doesn't believe in those so that leaves a large majority out eh!!? I guess we could always just hide in the drawer and pray for a way out of the sticky situation... But then again what I the fuck would I know I am just a mere man. Steve As for the rest of you who are offended...just wow Y'all love to make drama out of everything. Okay...since I refuse to kiss anyone's ass, I'm not sorry for making a thread about masturbation, getting the site blocked in a christian college. Ya know, if this were real life and I walked up to one of you and talked about masturbating to a bible, I would expect some form of negative reaction and I couldn't blame you for getting pissed. But this is the internet. Get over it. And HenriRoger I'm sorry but "masturbate" is NOT profanity, period. Haha nor is "bible" so this thread breaks no rules. Why don't you do a search for the word "fuck" in the subject line and see how many unlocked topics pop up. Honestly, I look at this as one big joke. If anyone wants to lock any of these threads, honestly feel free. I don't have drama on my mind especially at a "music" site. Maybe that will get the christian school to come back...er should I say "cum" back Maybe locking these threads will make y'all relax or something... Jesus...
zedsalt	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:37 AM I absolutely adore stupid, funny threads, but I have to admit that this meets the definition of "profanity" much better than, say, a site about the anal fisting of babies or a movie wherein the only dialogue is the word "fuck" repeated constantly for two hours. And, like the latter, it's more pathetic than anything else. The feeling it inspires in me the most is pity. It's always sad to see someone run out of creative juice to the point where they feel like they have to rely on shock value. It's kind of the Madonna Ciccone (sp?) of joke threads...
kingo	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 11:14 AM That's right. Feel pity for me, the poor, misguided sinner who's run out of creative juices and has to rely on shock value for a thread title. I have profaned your holy symbol and sullied myself in the process. Pray for me. I'll be over here wearing my hair shirt in the vain hope that I might some day be worthy of more than pity. Perhaps Jesus will see fit to enter my self and convince me to see the light and the truth about why some superstitions are perfectly fine to make fun of while others are supposed to be off limits.
HenriRoger	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 11:39 AM [QUOTE info=moam,April 10, 2007 @ 10:06 AM] And HenriRoger I'm sorry but "masturbate" is NOT profanity, period. Haha nor is "bible" so this thread breaks no rules. Separating the words .... other meaning ...
GTOriginal	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 3:26 PM Threads like this are so ridiculous that I can't imagine anyone being genuinely upset by them. They are words. It's a thread. We Americans Pretend To Have Free Speech. Sticks and Stones... PS - I do NOT masturbate on the bible so sticky pages are not an issue in my case. Not even sure if I have one. Hotels give 'em away free though...
kingo	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 3:36 PM Are you allowed to take those Gideons bibles? I thought they were just supposed to stay in the drawer at the hotel.
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:26 PM Tonight on FOX: Decapitations! Gunshots to the head, brains flying everywhere! Murder! Rape! Theft! Pillaging! Scams! War! Comb... OH MY GOD WAS THAT A NIPPLE??? Shut 'em down, boys.
KitRumble	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:32 PM Maybe we could just show a little more respect for the ladies on this site.
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:42 PM On 10th Apr 2012, KitRumble said: Maybe we could just show a little more respect for the ladies on this site. In other words: act mature?? Now what's the point of that???
Woof	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:43 PM Don't ladies masturbate?
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:45 PM They just pretend they don't
baiko	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:47 PM they don't. i know. i've asked them!
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 4:52 PM On 10th Apr 2012, baiko said: they don't. i know. i've asked them! Trust me, I had a girlfriend once...they are just as horny as guys, they just don't show it as much.
kingo	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 6:02 PM they don't. i know. i've asked them! YOU'VE ASKED EVERY LADY?????????? Holy shit you've been busy. I knew there was something better I could be doing other than pleasuring myself all over this book.
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 6:52 PM Probably a good job you chose the Bible rather than the Koran / Qu'ran as the item of 'pleasure' hew: Remember Salman Rushdie's fatwah and look to Al Qaeda's take on people who offend the holy book of Islam... I believe it was a reasonable request to ask to tone it down A LITTLE but you will do what you'll do regardless in the name of free speech, right? and now you have a captive audience to play up to, you can shoot off a double load...I have had several emails and notes from people saying they also thought this crossed the line btw before I am accused of being some loser no friends freak. Free speech also entitles us to an opinion ya know !
kingo	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 7:15 PM I have had no emails or notes saying I've not crossed the line, or have crossed the line, or what the line is, or where it is, or what it means, exactly, to cross it. But I've certainly not asked anyone to stop expressing opinions about this, and I've also not said anything about free speech, though others have and maybe you aren't even talking to me. All I've said is I don't have the same superstitions as some of you here apparently do.
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 7:56 PM I've noticed a definite lack of lightning bolts smiting you, Kingo... I think you're safe.
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 8:32 PM On 10th Apr 2012, leedsquietman said: Probably a good job you chose the Bible rather than the Koran / Qu'ran as the item of 'pleasure' hew: Remember Salman Rushdie's fatwah and look to Al Qaeda's take on people who offend the holy book of Islam... I believe it was a reasonable request to ask to tone it down A LITTLE but you will do what you'll do regardless in the name of free speech, right? and now you have a captive audience to play up to, you can shoot off a double load...I have had several emails and notes from people saying they also thought this crossed the line btw before I am accused of being some loser no friends freak. Free speech also entitles us to an opinion ya know ! First of all, I'm having fun here, so by all means keep this up because this is very entertaining to me. And I find it humorous that all these people have been noting you about how we've "crossed the line". Why does that have to be so secretive? Let me know I've crossed the line! Cause I already know I have, but I think it's entertaining. The whole point of me making threads about masturbation was to see the reactions of people...and it turns out some of you just can't handle topics a little out of your comfort zone Actually what I find funny: On 10th Apr 2012, shadowself said: I've noticed a definite lack of lightning bolts smiting you, Kingo... I think you're safe. So...is that targeted towards me? Cause if I remember right the only topic I even made towards the book was my "do you shower in the bible?" which is actually fucking hilarious cause it makes 0 sense. This topic here is really the only "offensive" topic and like Gary Tucker said, why the hell are you all offended?? It's so god damn ridiculous that it shouldnt be offensive at all. Even religious people find this funny Like I said though, if people wanna come at me with shit about how we've "crossed the line" feel free. Like leedsquietman said, I'm just gonna point my finger at free speech and keep saying what I want to say, not just because I can, but because some of us on this site still think this is funny. I refuse to kiss ass to those of you who can't take a forum joke or ignore "innappropriate" topics when they come up...or should I say "cum" up Bottom line: I don't care what any of you think of me, seeing as the only reason I am on dmusic is for the music oh and a few side thrills I guess
GTOriginal	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 8:37 PM On 10th Apr 2012, Woof said: Don't ladies masturbate? Yes only instead of getting "Tennis Elbow" they get "Carpal Tunnel"...
imemine	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 8:56 PM OMG!!!!!!!!!so many words!
K3VIN	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 8:56 PM which is actually fucking hilarious cause it makes 0 sense. so you lke that family guy humour eh?! -_-
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:11 PM On 10th Apr 2012, K3VIN said: which is actually fucking hilarious cause it makes 0 sense. so you lke that family guy humour eh?! -_- Hahaha hell yeah Though I prefer early family guy
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:16 PM On 10th Apr 2012, moam said: [QUOTE info=shadowself,April 10, 2007 @ 7:56 PM] I've noticed a definite lack of lightning bolts smiting you, Kingo... I think you're safe. So...is that targeted towards me? [/QUOTE] Unless you changed your name to Kingo, then no. And if you check the shouts I have left, you will see that I also find it amusing that people are getting their panties in a knot, and have started whispering behind the backs of others as if they fear that if they get too close then the invisible man in the sky will send a ZORCH of lightning down and fry them on the spot. I guess my point is: if your god is not offended enough to care and to do something about it, why should you be? (That's the general "you", not the moam "you")
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:16 PM Wow, did I ever botch THAT quote!
imemine	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:18 PM It's okay------simply a small predecessor to going to HELL! See you there!
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:20 PM Hey, he's your god, they are your rules... YOU go to hell.
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:21 PM Personally, I am going to Heck.
imemine	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:22 PM Been there---I prefer hell!
moam	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 9:30 PM Oops. I guess I just found this statement: On 10th Apr 2012, shadowself said: I've noticed a definite lack of lightning bolts smiting you, Kingo... I think you're safe. a little confusing My bad...
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:05 PM buy a new bible and mail the old one to an illiterate pervert
GTOriginal	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:07 PM On 10th Apr 2012, shadowself said: Personally, I am going to Heck. Is Heck some kind of Leave It To Beaver / Brady Bunch version of a watered down Hell? Sorta like what Hogan's Heroes was to a concentration camp? If so I'd kinda like to go there. It sounds like fun.
shadowself	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:19 PM On 10th Apr 2012, GTOriginal said: Is Heck some kind of Leave It To Beaver / Brady Bunch version of a watered down Hell? Dude... it's so watered down, you can't even say Leave it to Beaver.
GTOriginal	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:23 PM Forget it then, check please.
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 10:53 PM All I wanted to do was register some opinion that this topic was a touch inappropriate IMHO. This was done. Thanks to those who have supported me. I will now ignore such threads and sign off participation in this one. That should please those who think I'm an uptight a$$hole I won't apologize for how I feel, but really, No hard feelings to anyone, I come for the music and aside from the essential cheese vs muffins debate don't usually post in these threads.
wailingmiserere	Date: April 10, 2007 @ 11:22 PM I've always wanted to go to Hell, it looks quite pretty.
HenriRoger	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 4:39 AM On 10th Apr 2012, wailingmiserere said: I've always wanted to go to Hell, it looks quite pretty. Lol, thank you, you are raising the level of this thread , yes , just the level
kingo	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 8:28 AM On 10th Apr 2012, leedsquietman said: I come for the music and aside from the essential cheese vs muffins debate don't usually post in these threads. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who DOESN'T come for the music.
GTOriginal	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 8:46 AM On 10th Apr 2012, leedsquietman said: I come for the music... See? Back to Masturbation *again*! Just no escape is there? Know what I think is offensive? That dumbass "PopeMobile". Only one can't very well "ban" the thing when they parade it down 5th Avenue...
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:23 AM Does 5th Avenue have grassy knolls? just a thought...
evansorchid	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:29 AM
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:32 AM that's it, from now on i'm staying under the bed covers...
LiQuidMetamo...	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:41 AM That image of the Pope has been haunting me for 2 dozen years, that Catholic guilt can be a real bugger 'the devil will find work for idle hands to do (ref to the 'self loving' if ya know what I mean), be busy and pray hard and you will be freed of impure thoughts....'! Well that and stop stealing Daddy's Playboy magazines Popemobile - well, it is ugly and expensive but like Chillin' said, I bet JFK would have had one if he had been clairvoyant...
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:48 AM Now I have a vision of Lee Harvey Oswald with a shoulder mounted rocket launcher And something totally unrelated -
Mojosnake	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 9:57 AM dude that picture rules
zedsalt	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 10:44 AM I hope everybody knows better than to think I was actually upset. I mean, sure, that "Hee hee hee look at me! Isn't my bigotry hilarious?" type of humor really isn't my bag, but it doesn't bother me as much as bad English. I was just pointing out that making fun of someone's religion IS the DEFINITION of profanity. "Fuckhead" & "Shithead" are more obscene than profane, and "Towelhead" & "Dothead" are more profane than obscene.
kingo	Date: April 11, 2007 @ 10:53 AM Dammit, you weren't actually upset? Guess I'll have to try more harder next time.
zedsalt	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 11:16 AM I think that if a book full of stories about mobs killing people by throwing big rocks at them gets you off, your life would probably be easier if you just kept that to yourself. It would definitely help if you could find masturbatory fodder that wasn't the dogma of a huge religion. Maybe my mother was right on the topic of masturbation: it's o.k. to DO it; it's just not o.k. to TALK about it...
shadowself	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 12:11 PM shrug Why not? Is it a SINNN?
moam	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 1:15 PM WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?? Masturbation is more than okay to talk about No one should be embarrassed about it because everyone does it or atleast did at some point. And I refuse to believe anybody who says they don't...cause I used to be one of those people in denial
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 2:15 PM The bible is crap anyway and that's my opinion. I wouldn't even pick up cat poo with it... And leedsquietman, there are ways around a block on websites... Now, had he put "wanking" in the thread subject and actually stated which religion he was jerking off to, there might've been a point about the thread and the interpretation of the rules but quite frankly, things have been getting slightly looser in that area lately - partly because of all the people who bitch about FORUM POLICE, ETC. - and everyone likes a good ruckus... otherwise people wouldn't post things in these kinds of threads, they'd have sent tickets making complaints, or gone to the regular online admins. I believe a particular focus on this one was caused because of the person who started it. And why? Oh yes, for past outbursts... Welcome to the "Mud Sticks On Your Past Actions" club, Kingo. Maybe some of us should form a terrorist organisation group next? The "Anti-Religious Bible-Wanking Coalition" perhaps? This thread actually had better points in it than the DM v MySpace one... funny that.
HenriRoger	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 3:36 PM Posting this on april 9 th , easter ... that makes it one religion ... maybe Kingo was not aware of it ... I'm not a religious person . This thread subject is stupid .
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 5:41 PM One thinks of the bible as being a Christian thing mostly - and yes i do know other religions have them, i'm just saying the majority would think that - so perhaps the significance of the day combined with a rare burst of madness brought this about? The thread subject is indeed stupid, as are many others but it's not the real issue, had it landed on another day, it could well have been a totally different name. Thing is, it really doesn't matter, the purpose will be something only the creator can accurately presume and we, the lowly heathen of the exalted DMusic, can do little but speculate, argue and say "f*ck it" and go get drunk or laid, if you aren't into drinking or just sit in the corner of your room and be a cabbage if nothing else
kingo	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:10 PM I was forced, on easter, to attend mass at the same catholic church I'd gone to mass at every Sunday for pretty much all of my childhood. Now, by "forced," I mean asked nicely by my wife to go to hear my mother singing (she's a cantor), and to bring our daughter to church on easter. My dad was there. My uncle was the deacon for the service. It was nice. I didn't catch on fire. This thread was my penance for that sin against my atheism. 'zat a good enough reason for the thread title? No? Okay, forget that then. How 'bout this: I really needed to know the answer to the question. Those pages in the bible are very, very thin and I don't want to damage them in cleanup any more than I have to. And I'm pretty fucking pissed at all you assholes who can't be arsed to take my question seriously. Not that I'd expect any more.
imemine	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:19 PM Say five hail Mary’s and rub your rosery beeds on your nuts. Pay your tithing at the door (make it substantial) and fondle the alter boy on your way out on me! Praise the lord my son!
DeadraveN	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:23 PM since you're all going to hell anyway, can I have your souls? I have a quota to meet...
imemine	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:28 PM No----I sold it for a Twinkie!
DeadraveN	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:30 PM I don't want your soul anyway. it's unclean. Kingo, you're best bet is to just get a new bible. a late night raid on a motel 6 could get you hundreds of gideons'...
ChillinBuzz	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:31 PM Man that sucks, being forced to go to church... I'd be heading for the nearest divorce lawyer Oh, this tale of woe brings a tear to my eye... whereupon I mixed it with the ashes of my last bible and snorted it, a la Keith Richards... A serious answer to pulling your pecker in a bible? Easy. Go see a fucking shrink... or a priest.
imemine	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:32 PM Those are already sticky!
kingo	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:32 PM Not sure how that all stacks up -- the sin of breaking & entering vs. the salvation of having a whole stack of bibles for self pleasure.
Tattoomom	Date: April 12, 2007 @ 10:32 PM Can you believe all this started with one little question about urine?

~~Previous 100~~

Page: [ 1 2 ]

Next 100

Post A Reply
From:	Guest	(Icons - Linking)
Post: