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Thoughts On Life

ChillinBuzz	Date: August 6, 2007 @ 10:52 AM Had this sent to me, so decided to share (awwwww, isn't he a nice boy?) -I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. -Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. -The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. -Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. -There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. -Life is sexually transmitted. -Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. -The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. -Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. -Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? -Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again -All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. -In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. -How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? -Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" -Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." -Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? -If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? -If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? -Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? -Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? -Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
ChillinBuzz	Date: August 6, 2007 @ 11:39 AM -If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
hantu	Date: August 6, 2007 @ 11:51 AM oh fuck! Yesterday when i was buying a suit i asked myself "why the fuck am i buying a tie?" - Actually, i was sonwering why the fuck i was buying a suit all together. I don't know who invented the whole suit look, but i want to punch him/her in the face a few times and maybe some more after lunch. Apart from making you look better than you actually look, they don't do much oh well, i look forward to feeling like i got a stick up my arse all day with a smile
hantu	Date: August 6, 2007 @ 11:53 AM "sonwering"? You can't even see what that was meant to be can you?? - "wondering"
Svensta	Date: August 7, 2007 @ 5:07 PM "Apart from making you look better than you actually look" You just completely defined the fashion, cosmetology, and glam photography industries. Exercise industry too. As for other thoughts: Why do people look healthier when they get a little sun tan, when in fact they are actually ensuring that they will get cancer that much sooner?
GTOriginal	Date: August 7, 2007 @ 5:11 PM Time is an excellent teacher, but it kills all its pupils.
celtaidd	Date: August 7, 2007 @ 8:22 PM Some Arsehole says "Shit happens" and then you wonder why He said it?
celtaidd	Date: August 7, 2007 @ 8:24 PM Always look on the bright side of life, de doo de do de doo

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